Is it better?

June 8, 2007 at 11:55 pm (family, Humorous, Life, reflections, relating my life to "Friends")

I need to start seeing that yes, things are getting better.  at least they have to be.  maybe they aren’t.  anyway, my last entry was really depressing, so I am trying to be more upbeat this time. So, an update.

  • Antidepressants:  I got some!  the dr. wants to see me again in 2 weeks, just to see how they are working for me.  on top of the depression, I have been having some anxiety issues (example:  Sunday night, I couldn’t fall asleep until 4 am) so he gave me something to take as needed for that.
  • Job stuff:  Ok, not gotten too far on that.  but, a new opportunity has arisen at a bank in town, where I know lots of people and so I am getting my resume in there.
  • Isolation: I am doing better!  I talked to my sister today, emailed my friend D a few days ago, and talked to E today, and I will probably see her tomorrow night since she is in town.  all good things.
  • God and Me:  hmm.  well, I did go to church.  and the NT reading was from Romans talking about how tough times build character and hope.  I felt like a 4 year old, becuase I really just wanted to stick my fingers in my ears and not listen to it.  Not quite ready for that yet. but i was there.
  • The Ross to my Rachel: You can read about that here if you don’t know what I am talking about.  Well, I still haven’t heard from him.  and I said when it all went down that I wouldn’t contact him, he had to contact me.  but guess what.  a girl needs closure.  so, i emailed him tonight, heart wrenching, i bawled my eyes out.  He of course, doesn’t need to know that.  I just put things so much better in writing than I ever could on the phone.  I am assuming that he is over it all, but i just needed to know for sure…we shall see what happens.
  • Oh, and just a funny story.  My mom and grandma were rummage saleing today.  My grandma says, “Wow, look at these really pretty plates, aren’t they nice?  Who do we know that has plates like these?” My mom looks at her, deadpan, “you do.”  I missed it, but it still makes me giggle!

So, overall, just another boring week in my life!!! oh, and a quick PT update: I am now standing on one foot, on foam, and throwing a 4 pound ball at a trampoline and catching it.  They apparently didn’t get the memo that I am ATHLETICALLY CHALLENGED. and yes, i am also spelling challenged.  and now, at nearly 1 am it is time to drag my very tired and aching body back to bed.  Good Night!

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Flying poop

May 11, 2007 at 11:50 am (Life, relating my life to "Friends")

Imagine your are standing in a whirling vortex of flying poop.  ocassionally, it hits you in the head.  welcome to my life.

First off, I am depressed.  and depression sucks.  And I ran out of my meds, and I don’t have insurance, and I can’t get into the free Indian doctor until the 4th of June.  so here I sit, crying at freakin everything.  I hate it.  a lot.  it doesn’t help that poop keeps hitting me in the head.

So Wal-mart.  i hate it.  So, I got a note from the doctor to have a stool….hooray, then maybe i can walk at the end of the day.  Well, the other cashiers got all high school like, and said since i have a stool, they all should have one.  Sorry, I didn’t realize everyone had PINS, SCREWS, AND A METAL PLATE put into their leg just 2 months ago.  oh yeah, and supposedly, all I do is complain and raise hell so I can get a stool.  DUMB!!!!!!  So, needless to say, becuase i don’t have an “offical” disablility, i don’t get a stool, and my hours are being cut in half.  today is the first day of my half days.  we will see how it goes.  I am in the definate process of finding another job.  I am only blogging about my feelings about it, of course.  More poop hits me in the head.

And last weekend was a terrible bust.  the boyfriends car broke down, I am almost all the way to our meeting spot by the time i find out, we get in a huge arguement, and since he is so stressed, we are now taking a break until he is done with the school year.  like a not talking break.  I hate that too.  More flying poop, and I just can’t learn to duck.  But, we have also been there done that before, and I am hoping we can get everything resolved.  I miss him.  I think we are like Ross and Rachel in the way that we will always be it for each other.  at least I hope so.

So, needless to say, life keeps kicking me while I am down.  The Dr. says I am healing really well, that the pain I am having is normal.  I just wish it was over.  I am so tired of not being able to walk right, stand right, and being exhausted.

Flying poop ahead, i need to learn how to duck.

I bought a new camera, I am trying to figure out how to get my pics up….soon!

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